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New work at Hobart and Phony Foods

July 10, 2013

my story

I couldn’t be any more excited or proud to see my piece in Hobart. It’s got all the flavors and textures of summer in it from patio furniture and chlorinated dog fur to stolen moments in the mud of a neighbor’s prized trend garden. That last image is not exactly crystal clear in the piece (nor should it be), but I’m sure you all know what I am talking about.

I mean, come on. Whoever heard of jicama ten years ago? Or edamame–Oh, they’re so high class with their new names, aren’t they? Do those beans think I’m stupid? Do they actually believe I won’t see them for the al dente lima beans they are? If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s a phony. And if there’s one thing I can’t stand worse than that, it’s phony food. Edamame my sweet aspartame!

It’s almost as infuriating as watching a contestant on one of them cooking reality shows rattle off the piquant descriptors of a skimpy plate of “food”. As if we won’t catch the made-up stuff. As if we’re stupid! Yes, today we have Etruscan mushroom fibs blanched with sweet Chichesters and lightly fromandayed with jicama five-points and garnished with bacon fried edamame skin–for texture. Two words, people: Foe – Knee.

From → Archives, Pop Culture

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