Ben Affleck Will Be An Awesome Daredevil Playing Batman
There’s a resonance that high-profile actors bring to any new role they play. It tinges whatever they do with whatever they’ve done. We loved it when Jack Nicholson was announced to play the Joker because that dude from The Shining would make a kick-ass super villain. And who wouldn’t want to see a Lakers-crazed sideliner go berserk in LA?
Likewise, the DC universe welcomes resonance. Parallel worlds thrive there. The wiki page for the list of “Multiverse” Batmans ticks off a myriad of Dark-ish Knights. There’s a Nazi enforcer on Earth-10 and a Russian anarchist on Earth-30 and some other Bat version on all the Earths in between.
I find it hilarious that the Batnerd brain of the average fanboy can easily digest all this plurality, but mention Affleck as the next real life guy to don the cape and prance around in front of rolling cameras and look out! Geeks everywhere go into a kerfuffle so violent all the pens in their shirt pockets rain down to their saddle shoes.
The hub-bub is due to a bipartisan no-no created by Affleck’s former role of Daredevil. It’s a violation of brand loyalty. You see, Batman is from the DC universe (where Superman and Wonder Woman hang out) and Daredevil is from the Marvel universe (where the Hulk, X-Men, Avengers, and Spiderman reside). Although the superfan can comfortably accommodate fifty or more parallel DC universes, any overlay of Batman and his nearest corporate copycat in the Marvel world is not only verboten but it also leaves one feeling absolutely no schadenfreude for the now scandalized geek who, as result, suffers from soul-killing waldeinsamkeit (another awesomely cruel German word referring to that condition of being absolutely alone in the deep, dark woods—creepy).
Well, there’s no reason for us to follow suit–skintight and stretchy. In fact, in the parallel universes that Hollywood resonance readily supplies, there’s more than enough room in Batman Town, Earth 91601 (Hollyweird’s zipcode).
There, you’ll find a young Tom Cruise making like a big man in a locker room full of fighter pilots. He leans in close to Batman’s face and says: “That’s right! Ice…man. I am dangerous.” To which the Dark Knight launches his dental defense device, a cool maneuver misunderstood for years, made up of tiny grappling hooks embedded in his teeth.
And of all the moments involving the Batman who leads those eleven thieves to steal from that casino, my favorite is the one where he invites that woman he’s been having an affair with down to the basement where he’s been doing some kinky Batcave remodeling, saying: “You sit down there, make yourself comfortable, put your feet in the stirrups, and…” Then Batman reveals the sex chair he’s built and the lady sheriff from Fargo says (quite unexpectedly and with a hint of admiration): “Oh my God.” That scene ‘burned after watching’–my eyes, that is. They were stinging with glee! I knew Batman could build stuff, but that chair “bakes” the cake.
Also on a different Bat Chanel but in the same Bat sandbox, there’s another Batman surrounded by knee-slappingly funny flappers from the 1920s. He’s just hung a guy on a hook who says, “You shouldn’t hang me on a hook Batman. My mudda hung me onna hook once… Once.” Batman chews some gum he takes out of a cigarette case with a brass bat on it and walks coolly off.
There’s another Batman standing in an apartment with sheets covering the furniture. He’s talking to a guy in a suit, who’s obviously weirded out by Batman’s manic tone: “Do you like Huey Lewis and the news?” The guy in the suit can’t see what happens next, but we do. Batman has gone into another room still manic about Huey Lewis. He’s pulled on a cellophane slicker over the steel grey mask and cowl. It’s the kind of unnecessary accessory that screams superhero psycho.
And I don’t mind any of these shifts. They’re all “part” for the course, as my friend says who gets sayings wrong all the time. They’re all blessings in the sky, as he would say. And all this hubbub over Affleck as another Batman is just a bunch of tempers in a teapot. There’s room for another set of Batman resonances. The more to marry her. Why not add some Batmans who wear beards and pretend to be making movies in Iran after standing in the background of a Southie bar making some “pahk yah cah in Hahvad yahd” small talk just before pulling a nun’s habit over the Batsuit and robbing a Boston bank, cape and habit blowing heroically, draggily behind him? Why not? For all intensive purposes, it’s one in the same. No need to nip that bat in the butt.